Sunday, December 18, 2011

Driving From DC

Things I thought about driving to Mount Laurel, NJ from Gaitherberg, MD

MD-200 is the road I've dreamed about all my life. It was empty, patrolled by Office Ray Charles and went exactly where I needed to go, bypassing the Beltway.

As I passed an older man who who was drifting out of his lane as he was driving 40 miles and hour with those giant sun visors on, I wondered why we don't test older people for driving skills.

Who was Pulaski and why does he have his own highway.

Do people actually stop to visit the Decoy museum at Harve De Grace? And who was Harve de Grace and why does he have his own town? Did he know Pulaski?

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Coffee Man

Hi, My name is Mike and I am addicted to  "Donut House" coffee from my new Keurig K-Cup machine.
(Crowd says "Hi Mike")

It all started a few weeks ago when the Chancellor declared that my faithful "Mr Coffee" machine would never do in our newly renovated kitchen and we needed a sleek new K-Cup machine. Since the Chancellor hates coffee, this had nothing to do with coffee, but everything to do with the display of appliances on the counter top as if a photo-shoot were about to occur in our kitchen for "Kitchens Today".


The model we purchased came with assorted coffees, one of which was an evil 12 pack of "Donut House".  I fell in love with the "easy going, bold and dependable" blend immediately and was soon having two to three per day. (Isn't that just like a drug dealer - offering the first one for free?) Meanwhile, I'm going through half and half at a rate usually reserved for the holidays or when we have guests. And Splenda? We are in lab rat territory there. I'm getting up early everyday just to get my daily input.

Soon my freebie 12 pack was gone and I was left alone wandering the streets, rubbing the insides of my elbows with an empty ceramic cup and wondering where my next cup would come from.

Word on the street was that there was a new dealer in town and one with a 20% off coupon, Bath, Bed and Beyond. (K-Cups must be part of the "Beyond").

Sure enough, right there at the entrance, was a wall of 18 pack K-Cups including my prized Donut House. I picked up a box plus a box of the 'posser Donut Shop.

Now that second box is gone too, faster than expected because Oldest Son also likes "The coffee with the friendly and inviting coffee-man on the lid". (It's sinister, getting our young people on that junk too.)

Now I find myself doing research as to where my coffee money is best spent. I found that at BJ's I can get the goods for 53 cents each if I buy 160 for $84.99.

Let me say that again slowly so that you understand the depths of my addiction. I was considering buying Eight-Five dollars worth of little, individual coffee dispensers just so I could have the peace of mind of knowing I had a grain silo full of "Donut House" K-Cups at my disposal.

E-i-g-h-t-y f-i-v-e dollars.

For Coffee.

Kids, there's a hole in daddy's face where all the money goes.

I don't think I'm going to pull the trigger on 160 (and how big of a freeking box is that and do I need to bring the mini-van or will it fit in the RAV-4?) but you will see me at BB&B with my coupon in hand today.

I'll be the wild eyed man clutching an 18 pack and a quart of half and half.