Sunday, April 17, 2011

Don't get old.

I can't get the opening riffs of "Can't you hear me knocking" by the Stones out of my head. I must have listened to it 50 times over the past two weeks.

Hearing it reminds me of the Steven Wright joke:

"I can't believe the Stones are still doing it after all these years. Fred, Barney Wilma...."

Maybe I should be hearing "Under Pressure" by Queen and Bowie since that's more how I feel these days.

It's a function of the way things are at work: stressful and chaotic. Stressful is one thing, I understand pressure to get things done. It's the chaos I'm finding disturbing and it's all having a negative effect on me.

Not to complain openly about it but I'm also having issues with my teeth. I've had a temporary crown in my mouth since the beginning of the month and at the same time broke a tooth on the same side. Luckily I have redundant sides for chewing but having the temporary crown is like having a ticking time bomb in your mouth.

My Dentist, Dr R insists on mixing the temporary crown glue with Vaseline.Now I'm no materials engineer but that sounds good for her and bad for me. I'm just constantly fearful of the crown falling out and leaving a nasty post exposed. This fear is based on the first 24 hours of the fakey-crown, when at dinner with my wife, the whole thing came off in my mouth and in a panic I spit out all the food in my mouth to search for the missing crown.

Let me repeat that: I spit out all the food I was chewing to look for this stupid crown.

I found it, but I'll bet that was a moment she didn't foresee when she was saying "for better or worse" twenty something years ago.

Dr R has twice tried to put the permanent crown on but it just doesn't fit right. "The lab", wherever that is,  keeps messing it up. Every time she pulls the temporary crown off she says the same thing:

"OK Mike, you are going to feel a lot of pressure"

What I didn't realize was she meant at work.

This last time I insisted on no Vaseline and attempt number three is in two weeks. Wish me luck, pray for me, light a candle, what ever.

All of this dental crap reminds me of something my Mother's Aunt used to say: "Don't get old". I remember thinking "the alternatives aren't good either" every time she said it but as I get older, it actually makes more and more sense.

"Don't get old" Say it to yourself. Feels good doesn't it?

Another famous saying in my family comes from Grandfather on my Dad's side.

"There are no good jobs"

Which is another which I 'm finding more and more true.

If I have one famous saying to leave the generations it would be:

"I like vacation better than work"

To that end, the Chancellor and I are off to Italy soon. I can't tell you when because the Chancellor believes that all four of  my blog readers will rush right over to our house and steal everything we own even though both our Moms and Youngest son will be here. Well, three of the readers anyway, my Aunt reads and she's welcome to come see her sister. Just don't steal anything.

We are seeing Oldest Son in Rome for X days. Where X is greater than 3 and less than 25. And there will be armed guards at our home during those X days. With tanks. With sophisticated communications devices and aircover.

Obviously we are really looking forward to that. We have rented an apartment  over the Internet and have our airline tickets ready to go. I was a little queasy about renting over the Internet since I sent some stranger 200 Euros and he said "OK you have the place" and that was the extent of the transaction. I was thinking how easy a scam this would be and so I developed a little test to help me sleep at night.

I made up a character, let's call him Charles S Bailey, and I had "Charles" rent the same apartment during our stay. I figured if it's a scam, Mr Italian landlord will get greedy and try to rent it twice and if he says it's already rented, at least either he's smart about it or there really is an apartment.

He said it was already rented and then I took out insurance.

Today is Phillies game number two of our Sunday Plan with Aunt Tina and Mr C. Two weeks ago the Chancellor bailed on me at the last minute and I had to find a replacement. I learned something that week: You can leave tickets at the window for someone. This was because I invited someone from PA who met us there. Who knew? Last year I waited out front for my sister to show and I could have just left a ticket at the window.

I just can't have a Tony Luke Jrs Roast Pork today at "The Bank" because of fakey-crown.

Enjoy today.

1 comment:

bobbigraceo said...

Mike: Tell Karen I won't be taking any souviners if I visit. I'm just overloaded with those kind of things. If in fact, I could leave you a few from Italy, and therefore you won't have to shlep anything home. Have a great trip and enjoy!
Give my regards to Jordan.
Love,
Aunt Bobbi