Saturday, September 25, 2010

College Visits.

Yesterday was a whirlwind tour through two local Universities with Youngest son. It was a fast paced day so hang on.

The day started with me waking to the sound of the garage opening and closing and then realizing that The Chancellor had taken the Mini-Van leaving me with the ever deteriorating Aluminum Falcon to take on a hundred mile journey around the I95-I295 loop. Since the check engine light had recently popped on the Falcon, I thought better of it and this forced a meet up to exchange cars.

She was not happy and just said "we'll meet at the Wawa" which isn't very specific. When I finally woke up and was on my way I realized we are blessed with numerous Wawas here in the Mt La-La and I really need coordinates if we were going to make this work.

In her um "excited emotional condition" she just kept screaming THE WAWA. After the third cell to cell call I nailed down to the Church St Wawa where I exchanged a car with a full tank of gas for one with considerably less.

Of course I didn't notice the gas situation until we left for our circuit around the tristate area.  This forced my second Wawa stop of the day all before 9:30.

Somewhere along the way we realized that Youngest Son had not exactly signed up for the TCNJ college tour but had completed step one of five. We were coming unannounced. This of course meant that we had imprecise directions. We knew where the campus was but details beyond that eluded us. What building? Where to park? etc were questions that would be answered in hurry once we got there.

Somehow we nailed it. There were signs that you should park in lots 3 & 4 for for the "open house". So we did. Next was a game called "guess the building" since Lots 3 & 4 were adjacent to several. Nailed it again. On the first guess.

This was going to be a good day.

While we waited for the presentation to begin, we chatted it up with all of the other white suburban parents. Is this your first? blah blah blah.

About 15 minutes into the presentation a woman and her daughter joined us. If you know me, I am not derogatory towards women in any way but when this woman walked in the room, only one name popped into my head. It was a name that would be forever stuck with this woman. For the rest of the day, every time I saw her, the name popped into my head and I visibly cracked up.

That name was "Tits Mcgee".

Sorry lady. You are now Tits McGee. It happens. I'm cracking up even now at the thought of it.

Since she was late, Tits had lots of questions. Questions that should have been answered back at the presentation with some one that knew what the answers might be and not with the kid whose finest skill seemed to be the ability to walk backwards and talk at the same time.

A funny thing happens on these college tours where normally aggressive middle aged men and women become putty in the hands of some college senior and they do just about anything the college kids tells them to do. They are on his turf. He is in charge.

I think that is what happened when the entire tour ended up in the Men's room with me.

I'd had a cup of coffee while waiting for the tour to start and by time we approached the dorm visit portion, I was really feeling it. I'd seen plenty of dorms and they are all alike and my biological needs outweighed any desire to see my 50th college dorm so I asked our tour guide if there was a Men's room.

I thought this was a simple request but the security conscience colleges have turned the Men's room into a place were you need a key to get in. So off he went in search of key, except he didn't really explain to the group where he was going and what he was doing.

When he came back and opened a locked door I guess the group assumed it was the dorm room visit.

He opened the door, I went in and didn't really notice that I had a parade behind me until I got to the end my search for a urinal. I turned around and saw Youngest Son and Tits trailing behind me.

Weren't they surprised when they realized what was going on and all scurried out of there.

Next up was Temple University in Philly. It was 12:05 by the time we were seated in the car and ready to leave TCNJ and the Temple tour started at 2. We hadn't eaten yet and the logistics were further complicated by me having to stop by my office in Center City.

We had 1:55 to get to the city, park, eat, stop by the office and get to Temple.

We nailed it. Again.

The ride down I-95 was like the fast and furious but we hit no traffic. Next up was lunch so we called ahead to Shank's on 15th. We parked next to Shank's, ate and were in my office by 1:15. It was unbelievable.

We took the subway up to Temple. I think Youngest Son just loved the hustle and bustle of the trip uptown. What he really loved were the food trucks lined up on Montgomery St just off Broad.

We sat through the presentation and then decided that he needed to get to work rather than lead another set of strangers into a Men's room on tour.

The ride home was the worst part of the day. It took nearly 2 hours to get home, get him dressed for work and drop him off.

By 5 PM I was exhausted we both decided it was a very productive day.

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