Thursday, March 25, 2010

Door Button Badge

I moved offices a few weeks ago. I'm still at the same company (sort of, but it's a long story) but we moved floors.

If you work in corporate America you understand thus constant: moving offices.

We were moved onto what I would call a "elevator crossover" floor. If it were the World Trade Center it would be called a "sky lobby". It's a floor where you can cross elevator banks from the set that service the mid tier floors to those that service the upper floors of the office building I work in.

I'm telling you this because the elevator cross over effectively cuts the floor in half. The elevators and all the security doors that go with them are in between the  two halves with offices  - East side and West side .

I am in the West half which is great except the Men's room and Kitchen are on the East side. My side has the Women's room which doesn't help me in the slightest.

In order to keep the noise down from the traffic crossing between elevator banks, my offices are enclosed behind a wall with an unlocked door.

So, to get to the Men's room it's:

Exit the Unlocked DOOR.
Press a BUTTON to release the magnetic security locks to the elevators.
Walk past the Elevators and use your BADGE to unlock the doors to the east side.

Again. That is DOOR-BUTTON-BADGE.

On the way back it's BUTTON (because you are leaving the secure zone) BADGE (and entering the West side) DOOR.

For a cup of Coffee it's DOOR-BUTTON-BADGE-COFFEE-BUTTON-BADGE-DOOR.

For the Bathroom it's DOOR-BUTTON-BADGE Bathroom BUTTON-BADGE-DOOR.

All day long it's DOOR-BUTTON-BADGE BUTTON-BADGE-DOOR. 

Either I'm getting old or I'm think about other things but I just can't seem to get this seemingly simple pattern down. Besides, the architects left little distractors in your way like light switches near the DOOR and the BUTTON entrances. So when we first moved in I found myself hitting the light switch instead of the BUTTON.

DOOR-LIGHTSWITCH-BADGE doesn't work. It just sort of leaves you baffled at the BUTTON part wondering why you can't get to the elevators. Worse than that there is also a light switch by the DOOR. Which DOES work. Sort of.

LIGHTSWITCH-DOOR-BUTTON-BADGE works but leaves people in your office wondering what happen to the lights.

It's just cruel to have the light switches there and don't even get me started on badge readers that are too high or too low so that of your hands are full your are doing a sort of badge dance to get in. I call it Badge Tai-chi 

I've used this cross over at the elevators for 10 years to switch elevator banks but until I lived on this floor I never ever turned the light switch off expecting to get out to the elevators. It's the sequence that mess you up.

My new office, well cube actually, faces a window. I had an window cube/office on last floor too but I had a fantastic view over center city Philly. Now I face the West Tower which has a seventies concrete and glass architectural feel to it.

It looks like the exterior of Kilgon Inter Galactic Headquarters out my window.

The other day there was some real excitement as the window washers came by. That is a creepy feeling. You'll be working away and suddenly you have the sense that there is someone behind you when in the back of your mind you know that there is nothing out there but sky. Then you look up to see a man in boatswains chair 22 stories above the ground slopping sudsy water on the window. On the OUTSIDE.

The things that guy must see. Or not see - if some idiot shut the lights out instead of opening the door.

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