Every single day the weather was perfect. My brother, never a big vegetable guy, keeps Coors Light in the veggie drawer of his fridge. where a direct vent from the freezer keeps the beer at a perfect 31.5 degrees. He actually measured the temperature. The beer - it's perfect. Beer instead of broccoli? Really perfect.
His lawn - it's perfect. His roses - the're perfect.
We went to Costco where I found perfect grapes.
Sunday we got up and headed to La Jolla where we found the perfect seaside, rooftop restaurant. Our waiter was perfect. There wasn't a cloud for 500 miles - the're actually illegal there because that would make it not perfect.
We went to our hotel in San Diego where we caught the ninth inning of the last San Diego Padres game of the season from the roof of the Marriott hotel where we were staying. The rooftop bar over looks Petco field where it was tied 3-3. Didn't get to see enough baseball? Of course the game went into extra innings, just make it more perfect.
The Padres lost when they gave up a Homer in the 10th. You would think that's not perfect but wait, they played the San Fransisco Giants. It's California on California so no matter who wins - it's Perfect!.
We went to Coronado island were we watched the perfect sunset from the Hotel Del Coronado sun deck.
Went went back to the hotel and found the perfect little restaurant where they made perfect little quiche and it was so empty - it was... wait for it ... perfect.
In the morning we had a giant breakfast. My brother knows the number two guy at the hotel so we got 50 % off. Coupon? No way! More perrrrrfect.
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
When we checked out - we got the employee rate. More perfect.
And where is the most perfect place on the planet Earth? Disneyland. Where did we go next? PERFECT, PERFECT, PERFECT!.
The next day we drove to Temecula where we found the perfect hamburger place. I swear. It was perfect. They even had grilled chicken - done perfectly. We ate out in the perfect weather. The waitress? She was perfect.
We went wine tasting and how was it you ask? Perrrr-fect.
Drive home? Perfect. Dinner on the grill? Low fat and perfect.
That night we sat outside where he has the perfect outdoor gas heater to make it .... perfect. Are there bugs? No because that would make it less than perfect.
When I came home and weighed myself? I lost 4 pounds! Perfect!
Now you think I am making this up. I am not. My hand to God.
The only way this would have been more perfect is if I secretly hit the lottery, the Eagles won the Superbowl, the Phils repeated as world effing champions, my oldest kid solved the middle east crisis and my youngest found a cheap sustainable energy source, my wife made 400k a year in a job where she worked 10 hours a week, I had the perfect boss and all our stocks went up.
Ohh, and all my neighbors suddenly loved our dogs. Well, they would if we lived in California because it is perfect.