Saturday, July 04, 2009

Faux Softee.

I still love getting the newspaper, especially on days when I have time to read instead of skim the articles.

Today's paper had this story about fake Mister Softee trucks roaming our neighborhoods. Apparently ruthless faux ice cream vendors are out there playing the famous Mister Softee jingle, having a fake Mr Conehead logo and worst of all selling imitation Mr Softee Ice Cream.

Who knew?

The article gives a dark glimpse into the world fake Ice Cream vending.

You have to love the quote:

"The children, they don't know the difference,"

Well they should. You know if it were Microsoft, they would spend all their time marking the ice cream as "genuine" and shaming people into buying only "real" Mr Softee Ice Cream. There would be no room for fakes out there.

or how about:

Franchisees notified headquarters and private investigators were dispatched.

What was this like? Teams of dark suited men with earpieces and sun glasses following ice cream trucks around the neighborhood in dark SUVs with tinted windows? Helicopters in the air? You can almost hear the banter on the radios: "Conehead approaching Elm, stay with him EagleEye", "I think I've been spotted", "Softserve, pick him up on Walnut".

Or undercover men working the fake trucks wearing a wire?

That sounds a little too expensive for an Ice Cream Co. It was more likely some rumpled old guy in a 10 year old Dodge Aries that had three different colored fenders or a better yet a windowless maxi-van.

Following an Ice Cream Truck.

With binoculars.

And a Notebook.

Hmm. It's a wonder he wasn't arrested as a pedophile. That would have been a little tough to explain and it's not exactly what you think of when you think "Private Investigator"

I also love how they found Mr Softee trucks parked in a junkyard in NY and went after them in court. You just know the Mob is involved somehow.

So, today on this "Christmas of the ice cream season", make sure you are getting real Mr Softee Ice Cream and not some cheap mob knock-off.

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