Saturday, June 13, 2009

Grass Master 9000

I was awakened at 8:30 AM by the sound of the riding lawn mower of the guy behind me. I rarely sleep in but somehow up until that point I was doing exactly that. It is no small riding lawn mower either, in fact I've named it the "Grass Master 9000". If it doesn't have name like that, well, it should.

I guess if you have an acre of ground, a Grass Master 9000 is warranted. A 36 inch cutting swath, 26 MPH, that baby would make short work of a big job.

He ain't got an acre. He has a weedy, bumpy, and shaded back yard. It's got to be 100 feet wide and 60 feet long. And it takes forever. It sounds like a helicopter landing in backyard. At 8:30. Look Honey, I think President Obama is here in Marine-1, ohh wait, no it's just the Grass Master 9000.

I understand that everyone is busy, I understand that you may have commitments during the day, but 8:30 AM? That's a little early, don't you think?

Worse that all this is the fact that the Grass Master 9000 has no home. It's homeless. He throws a tarp over it were ever the GM9k stopped. That's just cruel. A machine like that needs a home, a shed of it's own. If there were an SPCA for lawn equipment I'd call them.

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