Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Mayor of Crazy Town

My legs are hurting a little bit from this mornings bike ride. JDV organized a trip to Brendan Byrne State Park this morning at o'dark thirty. I had to get up at 5.

I didn't know I was getting up at 5 when I told Youngest Son he could host Dungeons and Dragons at our house over night. D&D usually means an all night session with 6-10 boys/men sleeping here until noon.

My wife was working so we made a compromise. He could host D&D if they stayed in the shed. D&D usually is a big draw and new faces sometimes show up for it so I wasn't really surprise to see a few new kids. One was rather young looking but I didn't think much of it.

We cleared the shed of all gasoline and gasoline relate products, he hung Christmas lights and set up a table.

About dusk Youngest Son wanted to know where his mother was because Young looking kid's mom wanted to talk to her about sleeping over. I didn't think much of it at the time.

The boys settled in and it was working out pretty well I thought. It was a win-win. They got to play D&D, we got to sleep.

My wife woke about midnight and woke me with "they are not in the shed".

I still didn't think much of it until she said "I told young looking kid's mom that we would be responsible for him". Right that kid looked about 12 and now he was missing from the D&D session.

I texted Youngest Son.

Texting is such an optional response type of communications. You really don't have to reply. It's unreliable. Someone can always "I never got your text".

Needless to say, my "Where r u" went no where.

I called him - no response.

Now I have visions being at the Hospital, explaining to young looking kids mom what happened.

At 12:15 I get in the car. I head to the Wawa. I figure they had to have snacks and headed to Wawa. How can you have D&D with out Mountain Dew? I get to Wawa and no D&D crowd is in sight. Now what? Drive around?

I'm getting pissed. I have to get up at 5. It's late and I slept about an hour and half.

My phone rings. It's Youngest Son. He says he's at Wawa.

I call BS.

He says "I am touching the Wawa". OK I can't argue with that. He's touching it.

I drive over to the Wawa in a rage where I find them all in the store. The guy behind the counter says "ohh no" to them as I storm in.

"We are done" I exclaim and I hustle them all off to the minivan.

It's about here that I recall that I took JDV's advice and put my bike in the car for tomorrows, well todays actually, ride. I have 6 boys and three seats with the bike.

They kind of stand around awkwardly while I try to remove the front wheel from my bike to make it fit in the very back of the van and so I can open the third seat. They are whispering "what is he doing?"

This takes like 10 minutes with them standing around while I am playing midnight bike mechanic in the Wawa Parking lot at 12:30 AM, remembering that the brake has be loosened before the wheel can be removed.

People are staring.

I get them and the bike squeezed into the car and annouce that I am taking them all home and that D&D is over. I then ask where young looking kid lives.

Of course it is the furthest point in Mount La La from where we are and can still be called Mount La La. We drive. Youngest Son turns into Perry Mason.

Why are you taking us home, why couldn't we go to Wawa. What's wrong with Going to Wawa? It's only a mile away etc etc.

I drop off the others and now its me and Youngest Son and young looking kid. I am doing like 70 down the two lane black top road that leads to the more remote end of Mount La La. I come around a corner and see a young deer.

I start thinking that hitting bambi at 70 with YLK in the car is not going to improve the evening and would be about as bad as anything that could have happened at the Wawa and so I slow down.

We drop off YLK at his townhouse. We are playing "which one is it" and now I'm like a midnight taxi driver on the mean streets of Mount La La. YLK jumps out of the van and disappears around the corner. I have no idea if he actually makes into the house.

Now its me and Perry Mason Jr. on the long drive home, made even longer by the deer I fear around every corner. It turns out that YLK is actually a freshman in HS and is 15. Huh? All this was for naught?

I'm on the stand and he's giving me the tough cross examination. I nearly fall back to "because I'm your father, that's why" but think better of it. He's actually right. I'm crazy. Crazed from lack of sleep and worry about the impending 5 AM bike ride. And now I know that YLK was exactly that Young Looking.

I can not admit this and at about this point I realize that if I'm leaving at 5:45 and My wife is going to work, we were leaving them all alone at some point any way. Great either way YLK was going to be unsupervised.

I get home to more questions. My wife is asking "why did you do that".

Because I am crazy.

Today was spent apologizing.

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