Saturday, May 02, 2009

If you were in Seat 12, Row 8 of Section 302 Wednseday at the Spectrum, I apologize

As just about everyone around me has heard at this point, almost to the point being sick of it, I went the Bruce Springsteen concert on Wednesday. It was an excellent show but that is not what this post is about.

The band was loud. Really loud. By the end my ears were literally ringing. They still are if it's quiet. This could be function of too many loud clubs, aircraft carriers and the iPod at high volume rather than a single Springsteen concert, but I digress.

About half way through the show the band played a crowd quieting song and instead of screaming with our hands in the air we rested on the backs of our upright seats at the Spectrum. Just for a moment.

I was just sort of starting ahead of me and noticed a group of 4 young women in the row in front of us. They were dancing and having a good time. They were younger than the crowd, most of whom had to hold their tickets at arms length to see what section they were in. These women were maybe late 20's early 30's.

So I'm resting, starting ahead and the woman on the right turns enough for me to see a little bulge in her abdomen and I thought to myself "Is that woman pregnant?"

That would have been a fine thought. Except I said it out loud. REALLY LOUD. since my ears weren't functioning and the band was loud, it came out like "IS THAT WOMAN PREGNANT?".

She turned and stared at me. Like evil eye stared. I thought to myself "Oh my god, that woman can hear my thoughts". Then I said something stupid like "you could hear me?".

That is when I turned and saw my wife. She had a look on her face that I have not seen in 10 years. It was the "I have married an A--Hole" look.

While my wife was reconsidering having hitched her wagon to my star twenty years ago, I repeated my stupid statement back to her "You could hear me"?

She said "Everyone could hear you" and then she whispered to me "I don't think she is pregnant".

Ut-ohhh.

Now my group of 8 is starting at me, half wondering what happened, half with the same look as my wife. The woman is still staring at me and now she is whispering to her friends.

Yes, Ladies and Gentleman, in Section 302, row 9 seat 12 we have an honest to god a--hole.

I slunk back into my seat. They would be no hand waving and shouting Bruuuuuuuuce for a few songs while I got over it. Eventually I did.

As I watched the rest of the show I was transfixed on the woman in front of me. She was drinking lemonade but her friends had beer. She was slender except for the emerging globe of her abdomen.

This is a pregnant woman. No doubt.

If you are the woman in Section 302, row 8 seat 12 on Wednesday night. I apologize.

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