Saturday, December 22, 2007

Lost in New Jesery.

This is a story about New Jersey. It involves two things essential to New Jersey, Diners and not making a left turn.

Yesterday morning I joined some old friends for breakfast. We used to work together in a place in New Jersey (so now it's about three things in New Jersey).

The breakfast was held at the Golden Dawn diner, which inexplicably is owned by Greeks. Go Figure. With a Name like Golden Dawn you may think it owned by Japanese Americans. Nope. Greek. In New Jersey, it's the law. All diners must be owned by Greeks.

I needed to get to the Golden Dawn from my home, which on the map above is to the east in the lower right. I thought I'd come north on 73 moving on the map above in the lower right corner to the top center. By the way, 73 actually travels east-west but for some unknown reason is marked north-south.

The Golden Dawn is strategically located in the little triangle of land between Route 73 and Route 38 and the ramp to get from north bound 73 and east bound 38. Right where is says "Kaighn Ave" to the right.

I drove North on 73 and got on the ramp to eastbound 38. I could not get off the ramp to Golden Dawn. I drove right past the diner with the giant "GOLDEN DAWN" sign on my left. I was 50 feet from the property, but couldn't get on it.

I am now headed away from the diner. This is bad. It's good though because at least I know the area because I have lived here 14 years now, I know a short cut. Let me repeat that. I have lived 5 miles from this spot for 14 years and now I can't get from point "A" to point "B".

I cut through the shopping center and get back on 73 North.

A Mulligan. A do-over

The next attempt I make to get to the Golden Dawn is to continue north on 73 and go the other direction on 38. I drive past the giant "GOLDEN DAWN" sign, now on my right, and head to the ramp to west bound 38. (Which, by the way, no one in their right minds calls Kaighn Ave., it's 38). I can see the giant GOLDEN DAWN sign directly across the highway as I pull onto to 38 as I circle off the ramp.

I am now moving right to left on 38. Towards Philly. I am not really sure where I am headed at this point but I turn onto 41 because I know I need to turn around.

I literally guess at which ramp to get off 41. I get off the very first ramp which means I really never get on 41. I stay in the right and get right off 41 on to the ramp to southbound 73 which is really eastbound. Never mind. Let's just say I am headed in the opposite direct from which I started on 73.

Now I can see the giant GOLDEN DAWN sign approaching on my left. Thinking quickly, I turn on to the ramp from southbound 73 to eastbound 38.

I come under Rt 73 and find the Golden Dawn on my right, on a street I CAN ACTUALLY GET TO IT FROM. I make a right into the Golden Dawn.

Now, keep in mind that I have lived here for 14 years and I travel through this giant mix master several times a week. I'd still be getting on and off ramps with the giant GOLDEN DAWN sign whizzing by if I wasn't familiar with the area.

For future reference here is how you get from north 73 to the Golden Dawn.

Now that I see it from the air, looks like a giant bow.

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