Saturday, December 01, 2007


After being woken up at 9:15 on Saturday morning by these people.

I made the mistake of saying "why, yes I need some windows replaced" when they moved through our neighborhood like a pack of Jehovah's Witnesses intent on making YOU one of the 144,000 last summer.

They made an appointment for a Tuesday at 7:30. It was one of those "make sure both husband and wife are available" appointments. I should have canceled it then.

On that Tuesday a young college aged kid showed up at the house with like 15 suitcases full of samples, books of "letters of appreciation", newspaper clippings and windows sliced in half. He spent an hour and a half explaining how these were the best windows on the planet all the while making a face like "You look like nice people, I'm sorry I came into your home to sell you really expensive windows".

He told us about K values and R values and vacuums and gold mixed into the glass and all kinds of made-up window science.

After an hour and half of explaining that if we happened to reenter the earth's atmosphere in our home, the windows would remain intact, he measured the tiny window over our sink and lone remaining original window in our bedroom.

He came back with a discounted price of $2100 for the two smallest windows in our home.

That was discounted. We politely said "thanks for coming" and he packed up 14 of the 15 suitcases and we said goodnight.

Now they call every three months with some cock-a-mamy story about how they just got a big order for town houses in the town over from you and how they can now offer even bigger discounts if you let them come over again.

Even bigger discounts? Ha, what's that $1700 per window?

I don't know what it is about them wanting to come over and bore you with explaining how these are the greatest windows in the world but that is all they want to do. They are intent in always coming over.

I keep telling them to just tell me the price over the phone but I know they never will, they just want to come in and make you uncomfortable about leaving your family behind such shoddy windows. I also know that as I keep saying no I'll move higher and higher up the sales shark food chain until we finally buckle.

What they fail to realize is that it doesn't matter if these windows are 200% efficient at keeping your heat and cooling in, it doesn't matter because I have half of the inhabitants in my home THAT KEEP THE WINDOWS OPEN ENOUGH TO LET SQUIRRELS IN.

So I'm a little grouchy this morning. I tell the guy "I remember you, you are the ones with those outrageously priced windows" and "I'm not interested" and hung up.

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