Saturday, February 17, 2007

Girl Scouts annouce manned mars mission.

(New York, NY) The Girls Scouts of the USA today announced a manned mission the the planet Mars in 2009. "This is a proud moment for Girl Scouts everywhere and space travel will help build girls of Courage, Confidence and Character" stated Kathy Collins, CEO of this organization of 3.8 million girls. Mrs Collins also announced that the Girl Scouts have been secretly building rocket bases in Arizona and New Mexico for the past 40 years.

Funded entirely by cookies sales over the past 50 years, the secret Girl Scout space program has developed the 6 person Do-Si-Do rocket, two launch facilities in the US desert and a new Girl Scout Mission control facility in Georgia. It is estimated new mission control alone has cost over 1 trillion dollars. The program employs professional scientists and engineers supplemented by volunteer Moms and older Girl Scouts.

The mission will be managed from the recently completed Juliette Gordan Low space center in Savannah, GA by GSUSA Space Ventures, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Girl Scout program. Two lucky Girl Scouts will be among the first Astronauts to crew the Mars mission to search for new minerals and establish cookie booths.

Local Girl Scout leaders were stunned at the announcement. "We always wondered where all that money went" stated Ms Stacy McCormick, local leader of GS Troop 12,460,378. "All we knew was that we weren't seeing any of it. Did you know that each girl has to sell 500 boxes? Now we know why."

Government Officials were also stunned at the announcement. "We've all seen the bumper stickers that say It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber but this is ridiculous" stated General Norman Eisenhoff.

In a related story NASA is eying an annual "Brownie Drive".

When asked how the Girl Scouts could afford such a program, an unnamed Girl Scout Official was quoted as saying "Well you didn't think 5 cookies actually cost $3.50, did you?"

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